Anniversary Party FAQ's

Most people celebrate silver and golden wedding anniversaries, but there are a lot of other times that an anniversary party is in order—maybe you just want to renew your vows or maybe you just want to have a party and your wedding anniversary is a good excuse. 

Last month I attended a 10^th anniversary party not for the wedding but for the engagement.  The mother of the groom figures they’ll never get married, and why not have an anniversary celebrating being engaged 10 years?  I agreed.  It was a blast!

Q:        What are the colors for the different years?
A:         Most of us know that silver is 25 and gold is 50.  However, there are some other anniversary milestones that have associated colors with matching flowers.  Here is the short list for every five years (with the 7 year itch added in):

         Color              Flower

          1st    Yellow             Pansies

5th    Turquiose         Daisies

7^th     Off White         Jack-in-the-Pulpits

10th   Aluminum          Daffodils

15th   Ruby Red          Roses

20th   Emerald            Day Lilies

          25th   Silver               Irises

          30^th     Green             Lilies

35th    Coral               None

          40th   Ruby Red          Nasturtium              

45th    Sapphire          None

          50th    Gold                Violet

          55th    Emerald           None

60th    White              None

70th    Diamond White   None

75th    Diamond            None

 

Q:        Is there a gift associated with each of the above anniversaries?
A:         Yes, usually a traditional gift, a modern gift and a gemstone symbol.  You can take this as a fun reference but you can always buy something appropriate for the couple that matches their interests. 

                      

        Traditional      Modern      Gems

1st     Paper         Clock         Pearls

5th     Wood         Silverware  Turquoise

7th     Copper       Desk Set    Onyx

10th    Aluminum   Diamond     Blue Sapphire          

15th    Crystal      Watch       Ruby Rhodolite

20th    China        Platinum     Emerald

25th    Silver        Silver        Tsavorite/Silver

30th     Pearl        Diamond     Pearl

35th    Coral         Jade         Emerald

40th    Ruby         Ruby         Ruby  

45th    Sapphire    Pendant    Sapphire/Cat’s Eye

50th    Gold          Gold          Earrings/Necklace

55th    Emerald     Emerald     Alexandrite

60th    Diamond    Diamond     Diamond Star Ruby

70th    Platinum     Platinum    Smoky Quartz

75th    Diamond     Diamond    Diamond

 

Q:        Why is a 7th wedding anniversary sometimes referred to as the 7-year itch? 
A:         Interestingly, the meaning has changed over the years. During the early 19^th century, the 7-year itch was a bacterial skin “condition” that was contagious and irritating.  Mid-century, it became a metaphor for all that is annoying.  As it came to represent marriage, however, it was a condition that lasted seven years.  Until 1955, that is, when Marilyn Monroe starred in the film of the same title best known for Monroe’s dress blowing up over a subway grate.   The movie was based on George Axelrod’s play about a [fictional] study done that many men have extra-marital affairs after seven years of marriage.  An anniversary party might stave off this odd behavior.

Q:        What makes an anniversary party special?
A:         Easy.  Photos.  Obviously, the earlier the anniversary, the less impact the pictures make—but once you start accumulating the years, photos are a great way to tell the story in pictures.  Collages are easily put together or a display of inexpensive picture frames set on bars, buffets and tabletops works just as well.

 

Q:        What are some common themes for an anniversary party?
A:         I’ve done so many over the years.  I’ve done “golf”—for a couple who was never off course (in many ways).  I’ve done “travel”—for couples who have traveled the world (each table was a different destination).  I’ve done tennis, a garage sale (they were both penny pinchers), a Tupperware party, a Ken and Barbie soireé and even a Laurel and Hardy theme.  I think it’s very important that the anniversary party has the flavor of the happy couple.

 

Q:        How often do couples renew their vows?  And why? 

A:         We don’t see it that often, but there are a lot of reasons people choose an anniversary party to renew their vows.  Many times a couple couldn’t afford a wedding and reception so they went to the courthouse or ran away to Vegas (put in the destination of choice); later in life they can better afford it.  Another is that an obstacle or hardship has been overcome and a couple may feel that by renewing their vows at an anniversary celebration might reaffirm their commitment to each other.  Who are we to question why? 

Q:        Should you have a wedding cake at an anniversary party?
A:         You should always have cake (and eat it, too).  Of course, it depends on your budget.  Recently a client did a mini wedding cake at each place.  So adorable.  It had a little 25 on the top.  Expensive, though.

 

Q:        Who hosts the anniversary party?
A:         It can be the couple themselves, the children of the couple or good friends.  Good etiquette is that someone other than the happy couple host the party, but good etiquette went out sometime in the last millennium. 

 

Q:        Should a couple register for gifts for an anniversary party or when they renew their vows?
A:         Never.  Never and never.  This is in such poor taste.  Most likely, many of your guests will bring a gift because it is heartfelt—that’s the only kind of gifts you should want.  You may also want to insert a card or add a line to the invitation that in lieu of gifts they may make a donation to your favorite charity. 

 

Q:        If it’s a milestone anniversary party like a silver or gold anniversary, should the party be more formal?
A:         Again, it depends on the couple.  Some people are just generally laid back and wouldn’t like a formal party.  Others might want it at their country club with top end liquor and five courses.  Choose something inbetween!